Theological & Psychological Overlap

Sometimes I think well-meaning Christians overreact to psychological insights on the human condition, as if psychology is a tyrant looking for every opportunity to crush non-scientific opponents. Sometimes that concern by followers of Christ is quite justified. Freud, after all, did call religious belief an illusion that was only important for the uneducated in society. But there are plenty of other psychologically minded theorists, educators and clinicians with no such bias against religion.

I’ve started reading through Michael Horton’s systematic theology for the average person, “Pilgrim Theology.” It is written for the layman in an easy to understand style. I appreciate that. In his section on the goodness, love and mercy of God on page 87, I found an important similarity between the Christian understanding of God that I believe attachment theorists also refer to in their study of relationships as necessary for life among the human species. Here is the quote from Horton’s book that got me thinking:

We have seen that God now only has life, as we do, but is life; similarly, God not only loves, he is love (1 John 3:1; 4:8, 16). It is natural for us as interdependent creatures to love those who return love, but God loves without any compulsion or necessity. In fact, God “hates the wicked and the one who loves violence” (Ps. 11:5). “The boastful shall not stand before your eyes; you hate all evildoers. You destroy those who speak lies; the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man” (Ps. 5:5-6). Yet God’s uniqueness means that he is free even to love his enemies, whom he is perfectly free (and just) to hate (Mt. 5:44-45; Jn 3:16; 16:27; Rom 5:8). We do not determine the meaning of love from our own experience and then apply it to God, but define love according to God’s works: “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10).
Michael Horton – Pilgrim Theology (p. 87)

Christians who read the Bible enough usually come to understand that God is unlike us in his love because there is no selfishness or deceit in God. God can be trusted and God is reliable. People may feel that God isn’t reliable, but that is usually because either we don’t understand what God is doing or we don’t like what God is doing so we claim that God is unfair. But in Horton’s short section on God’s attribute of love, I see that Horton is summarizing the Bible’s promise that God is found by those whom God wills to find him. God is there to love those who are his and destroy those who are his enemies. God’s love helps his creatures, us, see that God is the ultimate attachment figure for his people.

When Sue Johnson, writes about how to put attachment theory to work in clinical situations with individuals, couples or families, I think she is describing a foundational theory behind counseling and a solid model to practice that is quite complementary to orthodox Christianity. Here is how Johnson describes attachment theory in her 2019 book Attachment Theory in Practice:

Attachment is fundamentally an interpersonal theory that places the individual in the context of his or her closest relationships with others; it views mankind as not only essentially social but also as Homo vinculum – the one who bonds. Bonding with others is viewed as the most intrinsic essential survival strategy for human beings.
Sue Johnson – Attachment Theory in Practice (p. 6)

We are, more than anything else, social animals fixated on our connection with others.
Sue Johnson – Attachment Theory in Practice (p. 5)

When I read about attachment theory, I see a fallible and useful science that seeks to understand the human need for relationship so that clinicians like myself can better help people who are disconnected repair their relationships. Calling humans “social animals fixated on our connection with others” is a great way to describe Christians who know they need God and the church to function. We’re fixated on feeling safe and secure. When we can’t get that security, attachment theory explain why we act so crazy.

I find that Johnson’s EFT model accomplishes that goal more often than any other model I’ve been exposed to and I can’t hope but think that is partly because it focuses on the same thing Horton focuses on in his this one section I referenced in the beginning of his book – the doctrine of God as loving and just at the same time. That makes for a trustworthy creator; one whom fallen creatures saved by grace can rely on forever.

Promises to Trust

As I’ read through Joel Beeke’s book Parenting By God’s Promises, I am struck by the emphasis on security in God’s faithfulness as a foundation for parents to stand upon when raising their children. Beeke is a Reformed Presbyterian, so his emphasis upon God’s promises to bless children of faithful parents with faith is grounded in Beeke’s theology. But even if one is a Baptist in his or her views, I wonder if Beeke’s argument is still helpful. Beeke is basically arguing that the God of the Bible has always saved a people for himself out of undeserving humanity by primarily working through families.

He writes, “Because our children are born to believing parents who are confessing members of the visible church, they are holy (i.e. set part), although depraved by nature (p.17).” Beeke is very careful throughout this part of the book to not over promise to parents about God’s faithfulness. He is quite honest that he knows not all children of believers will become believers. But they are raised in the faith, exposed to God’s promises and expectations, and encouraged to confront the truth about their depravity and sin as well as Christ’s offer of salvation to those who belong to Him. For Beeke that is evidence of a graciousness from God that not all people receive.

When I think about attachment theory, I see a lot of overlap here. My thoughts, as I read this portion of the book, went immediately to the idea of secure attachment. Those who know the most about God and His promises, expectations, explanations for our world and our situations, often seem the most secure in their spiritual connection to God. I find that the people whom I know in the church that enjoy scripture, enjoy the community of faith and commit their lives to the things of God, most often behave in times of crisis like one securely attached to someone who does not let them down. If you pick up any book on attachment theory and read about how securely attached people think and act, it’s going to sound a lot like the stories of the faithful in the Bible.

So that’s where my mind went today as I worked my way through Beeke’s book and reflected on what I’m also reading in Sue Johnson’s new book for therapists – Attachment Theory in Practice.

Regular Miracles

“‘Expect a miracle!’ That’s good counsel if there is a promise in Scripture to back it up. The problem today is that many Christians are not looking for God’s miraculous activity where he has promised it, namely, through his ordinary means of grace. Through these means, he has pledged to raise us from spiritual death, to forgive sins, to assure us of God’s favor, and to conform us to Christ’s image.”
Michael Horton in his book Ordinary, p. 139-140

I love the quote above by Michael Horton. I did not grow up in a church that highlighted God’s means of grace (baptism, communion) as particularly important, let alone repeated manifestations of the miraculous. I’m so thankful for being introduced to Reformed Theology. It has taught me so much these last few years about what is truly meaningful and worth paying attention to and thanking God for, when it comes to Christian spirituality.

Contentment

I’ve been slowly reading through Michael Horton’s book Ordinary for the past month or so. Chapter seven is on contentment. I’m amazed by how much Horton is able to confront me with the importance of contentment in a biblical sense. He does this in other chapters where he takes a word that once had one meaning in American culture, but now has a different meaning. In this case, when contentment is seen as somehow accepting less than one can get, it’s a negative. But for Horton, as he defines contentment in Scripture it means something much more positive. He begins chapter 7 like this, “The cure for selfish ambition and restless devotion to The Next Big Thing is contentment. But like happiness, excellence and drive, contentment is not something that you can just generate from within. It has to have na object. there must be someone or something that is so satisfying that we can sing, ‘Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also.'”

I see something similar when I read works from clinical psychology that focus on attachment theory. One of the “objects” that scientists and clinicians who affirm attachment theory often refer are an attachment figure, one of a small number of people we rely on in life for security, safety and emotional stability. Those attachment figures are usually family, spouses and God.

I find it highly unlikely that anyone will experience contentment in a good way if their attachments in this life are insecure. For Christians, we take great comfort in our ultimate attachment figure, God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Horton makes a similar connection when he talks about how the concept of covenant is central to how Christians of the Reformed tradition understand a sinful human’s relationship with his or her perfect creator. Covenant is the way God offers his people a secure and stable relationship with their creator. Covenant is also the way God defines his relationship with those who reject him. So we’re either in a covenant of works with God, where we have to earn his favor or we’re in a covenant of grace with God where we receive his mercy and fellowship through Jesus. Evidence for believer of such a gracious covenant relationship is the presence of the Holy Spirit who most commonly uses the community of believers, scripture and the sacraments of baptism and communion to increase or sense of security and stability in our relationship with God.

I find that attachment theory is the most consistently God honoring therapy lens to use with clients and in my work as a psychotherapist.

If you would like to know more about how Attachment Theory integrates well with Christianity, I encourage you to listen to this 2018 plenary address Created for Connection by Dr. Sue Johnson to the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC). To my knowledge, Sue does not describe herself as a Christian; however, she is still able to describe undeniable overlap between attachment science and orthodox Christianity. I find this connection even stronger when I read Reformed theology.

…in the beginning

My first post must be a pic of San Antonio, TX. That’s where I learned to love all things Texas and Reformed Theology. That’s also where my career in mental health really took off.

I don’t have anything else to say today, so below is one of my favorite quotes.

Do not forget that the value and interest of life is not so much to do conspicuous things…as to do ordinary things with the perception of their enormous value.” — Teilhard de Chardin